Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
