when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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