I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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