Sponge bath it is.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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