So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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