69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
