So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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