well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
