Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
