I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
