porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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