i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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