There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
