You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
