we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
