you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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