fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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