We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
