Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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