It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
