I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
