just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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