So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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