Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize