it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Pooping to opera.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize