Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
