He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
