at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
