So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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