Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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