I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We need a shit load of segways right now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
