I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it wasn't lemon gatorade
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
