Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
