Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
