is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
