I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
