Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
