wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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