I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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