My underwear smells like fireworks.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
