So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
