How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
