Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
