No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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