Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
