call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
