I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize