We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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