I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's no shave November. This is our time.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
