At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize