it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
this hospital has no fireball
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
