I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
