OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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