New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
