i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
