lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
