two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
