She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
