Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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