Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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