I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
